Perhaps the Bigger Picture of "Loving Yourself" is Taking Full Ownership of You

 

The stereotype we often associate with "loving yourself" has always something to do with being alone and finding solace within ourselves.  

To paint a picture, it's 'taking our time to do our hobbies, tidying up our environment, taking fancy baths, doing skincare, putting on makeup/perfume/dressing up, or cozying in while drinking hot chocolate or beverage of our choice while taking the time to rest and watch our favorite movies or series or listening to music or even much simpler, emptying our minds and doing absolutely nothing'.

To me, that sounds more of a mindfulness exercise as a way to ground ourselves in the moment, often when we are feeling overwhelmed and anxious about the future or feeling lonely about something that happened in our past. It's a love yourself moment, but that doesn't mean we love ourselves already. 

The grand idea I would like to propose in this article, is that loving yourself is a much bigger movement than you think it could be. 

At this point, it may sound trivial to consider "loving yourself" as a grandiose human-kind movement.

But imagine a world where everyone truly loves themselves; that they no longer project any kind of grief or anger that enable them to release careless and hurtful words toward another person. 

That maybe, when humans finally let go of their extreme ego, need of control, and feelings of being the 'victim', and for once decidedly take ownership of who they are completely, which include their tendencies to hurt other people or say hurtful words, maybe we can stop wars.

I don't just mean wars that involve physical battles, though I would not discredit that, because the root causes of physical battles have always something to do with some kind of miscommunication, vengeance, or even wanting to assert dominance over another. 

What if everyone learned to surrender more? 

To surrender the fact that: (1) we are all imperfect beings, (2) we will always face challenges, and (3) we have a tendency to look too much into the past or the future instead of this moment right here. 

What if we just stay in the moment and stop blaming anyone else for our own pain? 

We are no longer children. We get one life. We are capable of thinking, feeling, and moving. We are capable of overcoming challenges. We are capable of moving forward no matter how impossible things may seem to us.

I do not want to discredit the idea that loving yourself involves a lot of self-confidence boost and pleasant activities, but I hope you don't use it to distract yourself from facing yourself. 

When was the last time you looked introspectively to process your own traumas, fears, guilt, regret, and insecurities, or in other words your 'shadow'? 

It is often scary to do this, and oftentimes we are not ready, so we continuously look for another being to put the blame on how our lives turned out, but I would like to reiterate that this is your life. You always have a conscious choice how to get through something that is difficult. 

I don't wish you to dwell on the bad, but I pray for strength that you look them straight in the eye and have faith anyway, keep going anyway, and choose love anyway -- because the bottomline is, everyone has shadows, too.

I hope you find your middle in taking ownership of these pains, but loving and forgiving yourself despite them all. 

My dear, you are still very much worthy, no matter how much you have sinned. 

I hope when we choose to be kinder, that it's not for the sake of our ego, but to show genuine empathy as a way to assure the other person that "Hey, I know there is pain in you. I have them, too, but I'm here to to lift both of us up, so I will choose to understand you better and help you if it calls for it."

With healing, boundaries are also essential. 

We are all humans, and as much as I advise being kinder to everyone, know that we will always falter, and when that happens, forgive yourself. Keep moving forward. 

Promise me you'll take it easy on yourself,

Belle x