Perfectionism is the Enemy of Self-Worth

 Art by Alexis Rakun

Before you are a mother, a father, a grandparent, an auntie, an uncle, a daughter, a son, a sister, a brother, a student, a citizen, a worker, a boss, a friend, a businessperson, a professional, you are you. Just you.

We were all born worthy. Everything else that succeeded your birth just became a bonus to your life. When you breathe, when you eat, when you sleep, when you crawl, then you walk, and then when you run -- you are a dignified human being that is worth it all (especially tender, love and care).

But once upon a time, the society started to prime the people what it meant to "have a perfect life" or "how to be the perfect mother" or "what it means to be 'successful'", and thus make us behave according to the metrics for each "ideal perfection". 

Anything else out of that perfection bubble becomes strange/a deviation/an outcast. 

Source: shehaus

I don't hate the society, nor do I think rules and regulations are useless, because the bottomline is that it is  supposed to keep 'peace and order'. 

However, in any kind of restrictions placement, what I think concerns our mental health are: (1) how much we idolize the rules, trends and status quo just to feel like we belong, or (2) how we become a slave to routine, or (3) even worse: if we manipulate these rules for selfish reasons.

The ego is always the enemy, but so is the self-pressure of "being perfect", especially because we base our entire worth on what the world has raised us to believe and achieve (even unconsciously, without us actually knowing). 

Photo not mine. All credits go to owner.

You can't solve everything. Nobody knows it all. Art is art if one decides to call it so. Science even still has theories that can't be called absolute truths. Sometimes truths aren't even true. Money is just a medium of exchange. Beauty is subjective. I don't believe in true justice. Our brains can even make up its own memories. 

What makes life worth living is if we embrace our brilliance from our uniqueness, which entails complete suspension of self-judgement and eradication of any kind of stereotype we desire to fit into just to "belong". 

I believe it is the pursuit of wholeness, not "perfection", that leads us to appreciate the true beauty and real meaning of life. 

You deserve wholeness because you are worthy of that. 

Source: We're Not Really Strangers

My dear, you are worth it all. Do not listen to those that tell you otherwise. 

Trying to get external validation of your self-worth from people that don't even mean anything to you should not fill the space of your beautiful mind. 

Stay grounded and hopeful. 

All human beings are made in different forms, shapes, personalities, and all other beautiful varieties that we are slowly learning to believe are all truly beautiful, so hold on to you. 

When we perish and leave the temporary world, you're all you've got. 

Treat yourself with self-respect, and along the way, actualize your dreams and passion (at whatever age), and find your will to get yourself there despite how much "roles you have to fulfill" in life. 

You can only love others truly if you learn how to genuinely love yourself.

Here's to the worthy and whole you,

Belle x