The Relationship You Have with Yourself Affects all the Others

 

 

Credits to @themayfairgroup

"You're a b**ch to me not because you don't like me, but you're a b**ch to me because you don't like yourself." - megan batoon, 10 things I learned in my 20s 

It would have saved me a number of times of feelings of being upset for too long if I had understood this sooner. 

The reason, I think, that the world is getting harsher is because every single individual is scarred, which is normal because suffering is a constant thing in life no matter the magnitude, and people oftentimes project these "mental scars" to others in a way of agitation/irritability/irrational behavior/anger/narcissism/humor as a defense mechanism to cover these scars. 

I would like to offer you a food for thought today that goes deeper than a band-aid solution. 

When someone shows you an irrational anger or irritability, you have the choice to (1) talk back and defend yourself or let that upset you for hours and blame yourself for the rest of the day/weeks/months for something you didn't really intend to do, or (2) you can step back, breathe, and interrupt your imminent anger or self-blaming and realize that this person is hurt, and I empathize with his/her scars, so I will give that person further care after I set my own boundaries. 

Number (2) is very difficult. It is easier said than done, but it is a start not just to have a better headspace, but to live in a kinder world. 

With that being said, when you yourself find that your irritability is increasing these days, weeks, or months: It is best to step back, breathe, reflect, and self-soothe. Be careful not to blame yourself because you are going to have a conversation with parts of yourself that are hurt. 

Credits to theextroverts (vsco)

If you've heard the term "your feelings and emotions are valid", I hope you take it well. When you are going through any sort of suffering, it will always be easier to shut any sort of feeling and emotion out and let numbness take over instead, but in return you are also shutting off light and love. 

My wish to whoever is reading this that wherever you are in your mental health journey, I hope there is still some light and love in you. 

This current pandemic climate is hard. Everyone is going through more battles than that as well, and I hope you are choosing light over the dark, no matter how dim it seems to you now.

Love,

Belle